Choices

Ah New Years... 

The time of year when there's a certain excitement in the air. A time when people feel inspired to change, to set New Years resolutions.

If you let go of your resolutions, do not become frustrated or go hard on yourself. Instead, be kind and give yourself love & support. Know that you can create resolutions at any time throughout the year - not only at New Years. 

"Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's." - Baz Luhrmann

Thank You 2015

I spent my final night of 2015 walking the neighbouring streets as the snow gently fell on my face. I couldn't stop smiling as my heart filled with gratitude. 

Grateful to simply feel the cool air on my skin, to be alive. Grateful for a year of adventure in which I took risks, living each moment with my heart leading the way. 

As you enter 2016, take a moment of gratitude. Remember the good times, not the 'could have beens'. Smile. Love. & hold close to you this New Year spark of possibility.  

Wishing you all a 2016 filled with love, light, & health. 

xx

Home Sweet Home

"Home is where the heart is"

I was holding back tears as the plane took off from Spain and headed towards Canada. No, I'm not afraid of flying. Yet every time I leave Spain, I feel an ache in my chest and my eyes begin to water.

I don't have any family there, only having the few friends I've made throughout my travels in Andalucia. Yet still, Spain feels more like home to me than Ottawa - the town where I was born and raised. 

Prana

In yoga, we notice a difference in prana, in energy, from before practice compared to how we feel afterwards. 

In life, we are aware of different prana with the people we meet, even with the places we visit. 

What does 'Home' mean to you? 

I have had the pleasure of meeting people from all over the world during my travels. When I ask 'where is home?', I am usually given a two part answer - "Oh I'm from so & so but my home is X,Y,Z". 

Where is 'home' for you?

Is it where you were born? Perhaps where you are currently living? Or maybe a place where you feel most connected to your Self?

Wherever it may be, cherish these places and keep them close to your heart. Know that if one day you must leave, you can always return back home - back to home sweet home.

xx

Goodbyes

I recently finished my two month stay at Suryalila and had to say many, many, goodbyes. 

Goodbyes are never easy. Memories of times together flash in front of your eyes and you wonder how you will ever go on without these special someones.  

Hasta Luego

Before traveling to Spain, I Googled key words so I could get by with the little Spanish I know.

I quickly learned that locals never say 'Adios' and that 'hasta luego' (or even simply 'luego'), meaning 'see you later', is more commonly used to end a conversation. 

The Spanish Way

I say we all embrace this way of living - to not say goodbye, to stay open to the possibility of meeting again in the future.

We all wander our own paths, but we never know when we may cross paths with someone else again.

Enjoy the journey - the hellos, and the hasta luegos. 

xx

Volunteering

I'm not going to sugarcoat anything - volunteering is not easy, especially volunteering abroad - spending money to volunteer your time when you are still paying bills back home. 

During my time abroad, I have had many sleepless nights, shed tears (& blood) while I questioned my decision to volunteer. 

At the beginning of my 3 month term, I focused on what I could gain vs the good I could give. 

Over time, I learned many different lessons & connected with other volunteers - opening my eyes to the positives, inspiring me to feel more confident in my decision. 

Gratitude

Having gratitude invites you to ground yourself, to experience humility, as you discover what you were once complaining about we're the silliest of things. 

I couldn't be more grateful to my hosts - for the roof over my head, the food in my belly, the opportunities provided, the lessons learned, the love shared. 

When anxiety takes over, always come back to gratitude. Although we may not always see it, we are all so lucky - we have so much to be grateful for. 

xx

The To-Do List

Do you write a to-do list?

I do. Every single day. 

I sometimes even add the simplest tasks to my list - strictly for the pleasure of crossing them off. 

To-Do List = Distraction? 

Sometimes I wonder if having a to-do list distracts us from the present moment - always thinking about what to do next vs appreciating our current experiences. 

Tick Tock...

As my final days at Suryalila approach, I can't help but think of all the things I want to do before I leave. 

The other day I took Loba, a fellow volunteer's dog, for a walk. She was pulling me along the trail, chasing the smell of rabbits, as I went through my list in my head.

I began to notice the most beautiful views every time she pulled me into a ditch. I paused & felt a huge smile creep up on my face - this was my lesson - to be present. To appreciate my surroundings vs focus on all the things I want to do.

Thank you, Loba, for the very important lesson - as great as to-do lists may be, leave them on paper & simply do. 

xx

Patience

"Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience" - Emerson

Patience is not always easy - especially in such a fast-paced world where we have access to information at our fingertips, looking for instant solutions.

Impatience can ooze negativity.

I've come to notice this while working in Southern Spain where everything moves at a much, much, slower pace. 

Tips for Practicing Patience

1. Breathe: bring your focus to the breath, deepening each inhale & exhale
2. Let Go of any desire to control the situation
3. Slow Down: adapt to the situation & your surroundings
4. Smile!  

Practice patience on and off the yoga mat - there is no need to rush through life or your yoga practice. 

Criticism

How do you take criticism? 

Do you take criticism more personally from certain people?

From Those You Look Up To

I recently taught my first yoga class at Suryalila where I completed my YTT back in February & was taken by surprise (& totally nervous) when I saw my teacher walk into my class. 

After class my teacher took the time to share her feedback with me regarding my lesson - something I am very grateful for as she has taught me so much and is someone I aspire to be like one day. 

Criticism vs Feedback

I believe what differentiates the two is your own perspective. To focus on the positive vs the negative - how you can use another's remarks to improve vs focus on where you went 'wrong'. 

Personal Opinions 

We are all entitled to our own personal opinions.

Although, remember - be open to others' opinions but always discover your own truths. 

xx

As I struggled to achieve Tittibhasana. I was cued to 'bring the legs closer to the shoulders & gaze forward' - instantly feeling a difference in my posture.

Can you spot the difference? I certainly felt it - & am grateful for all my teachers - on & off the mat. 

What Are You So Afraid Of?

Snakes? Spiders? Failure? Being alone?

We are all afraid of something - whether we want to admit it or not.

I am currently being faced with quite a few of my own fears volunteering abroad. I have had many sleepless nights, have been filled with anxiety & keep asking myself the same questions over and over again. 

Facing Your Fears 

As scary as it may be, facing your fears can be quite liberating - letting go of something that may not have been so scary after all.

I was recently woken up by a spider crawling on my face (yup, true story!) & nobody was around to take care of the situation - I had to handle it all by myself. Yes, I am still nervous there are more spiders in my bed, but knowing I can come to a solution on my own is quite a powerful feeling.

Believe In Yourself 

I encourage you to face your fears with confidence. Challenge yourself to not be afraid - to see the lessons these fears may be teaching you.

You've got this! 

xx

Vulnerability

Dear Diary...

I have been writing a diary for as long as I can remember. I have a box full of them at home with hopes that nobody ever, ever, reads them (psst M&D, no snooping!). 

My entries are not filtered, not edited, simply my raw emotions. My blog is not the same as I tend to write out multiple drafts before pressing the oh-so-scary 'Publish' button, sending my thoughts out into the Internet - open to be criticized - or even worse, ignored. 

Vulnerability does not = Weakness

Why do we seem to associate vulnerability with weakness? 

I believe it takes great courage to show vulnerability and actually find it to be quite an attractive trait. When someone shows vulnerability, they are letting down walls, showing a side of themselves that they most likely don't show to just anyone. 

Yet, I am still scared to show this vulnerability myself. 

Okay here I go...

Things that make me feel vulnerable:

1. Sharing my writing - I still find myself looking for affirmation from others 
2. Love: Oh boy...
3. Practicing inversions 
4. Admitting to failure: I have been learning to see my failures as opportunities for growth
5. Showing signs of sadness: I was recently reminded that it's okay to be sad
6. Singing out loud: My singing voice belongs only in the shower and is not to be heard by the public! 
7. Assisting in the YTT program at Suryalila: I feel way out of my league next to the more advanced yoga teachers. Focusing on all I can learn vs the fear of not being enough. 

Your Turn...

What makes you feel vulnerable? Do you allow yourself to show this vulnerability to others?

xx

The Simple Life

A Fresh Start 

Before beginning this new chapter of my life - quitting my office job to volunteer abroad & deepen my personal practice - I did a major cleaning, getting rid of garbage bags full of stuff.

I left behind empty shelves and only a few items of clothing in my closet - everything else fitting into my backpack for my travels to Spain. 

The Beauty of Simplicity 

Letting go of so many material objects has allowed me to clear away the noise and clutter in my life. 

I no longer have the desire to spend money on clothing, trying to keep up with the ever changing trends, and feel at peace knowing I will be going home to a clean space.

Letting Go

Doing a major cleaning can be difficult as we tend to hold on to things we really don't need. Material objects or not, letting go is never easy. 

Clothing is a great place to start - selecting only key pieces and donating the rest. Do you really need the new iPhone? New shoes?

Limit your purchases to things you need vs things you want, and discover the joys of living the Simple Life.

xx

Affirmation

Who doesn't like receiving some positive affirmation? It warms the heart and can give a little boost in self confidence just when we may need it the most.  

Is it egotistical to enjoy it? Maybe even sometimes crave it?

On the Mat

I personally used to look for affirmation in yoga classes - that gold star for accomplishing a pose. I would always mentally note if I didn't receive it from the teacher, wondering if I did something wrong. 

Off the Mat 

I've always been a private person - especially when it comes to social media. Since launching KALPANA YOGA, I catch myself checking for 'likes' or comments - searching for that affirmation that I did something right. 

Always Remember...

The next time you attend a yoga class or post something on social media - notice if you search for that affirmation. 

If so, take a moment to pause and remind yourself that the affirmation you are searching for is to be found within yourself - not from any external sources.

xx

Follow Your Dreams

Think back to when you were a child... You could probably list off a variety of different dreams or aspirations - perhaps to be a rockstar, an astronaut, a professional athlete. Anything was possible. 

Are you still dreaming now? 

Fear of Failure

As an adult you have responsibilities you didn't have as a child (thank goodness!).

These added responsibilities, and sometimes certain society expectations, can cause those dreams to seem further and further out of reach.

But why? Why do we allow ourselves to be so afraid?

Commitment

Commit to your dreams. Give it your all, take the responsibility - whether or not the outcome is what you wanted. 

Not all dreams are meant to become reality - & that's OK. Try not to become discouraged - keep your head up, applaud your efforts & always keep dreaming.

Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall

Friend or Foe

Are you aware of the effects of a mirror to your body image, self confidence and overall attitude towards yourself?

In my previous experience as a dancer, I was constantly in front of a mirror with thoughts consistently clouding my mind - such as how my messy bun just wasn't quite messy enough or questioning how I could measure up against the other dancers - afterall, only one dancer would get center stage.

Mirrors in Yoga

Thankfully there is no 'center stage' in Yoga as Yoga is not a competition, everybody is on their mat for their own personal reasons - and we support one another vs create any comparisons.

Mirrors are still present in most yoga studios as they can be a great tool to check alignment. However, I can't encourage you enough to take your gaze out of the mirror, maybe even close your eyes, as the mirror can be a distraction for your practice - a gateway if you will, for a cloud of thoughts to enter the mind.

Letting Go of the Mirror

Taking your gaze out of the mirror will allow you to stay focused on your Self and personal practice. The sensations and emotions that arise during practice will become more powerful - resulting in a greater awareness of your body, and ultimately a greater confidence in yourself. 

Always remember that your practice is a personal one - one that should always be appreciated and celebrated - just the way it is. 

xx 

Embracing Change

The Fear of Change

Does change make you feel uncomfortable? Maybe even a little scared?

Change can invite you to face the unknown, perhaps even lose a sense of control as you let go of the comfort of any regular patterns. 

Evolving with Change

Big or small, the changes in your life have allowed you to evolve into the person you are today - somebody who is always learning, always growing, as you move through the different chapters in your life.

From a new haircut to a new job - be confident in the choices you make and embrace all that change may bring.

Moving Forward

I recently made the decision to leave my office job to pursue my passion for Yoga full-time and am filled with joy as I embrace all of the opportunities in front of me. 

Let go of the 'what-ifs', acknowledge the 'what-is' and welcome in the 'what-could-be'.

Suddenly, change doesn't seem so scary anymore. 

xx